Water Fasting For Mental Health (Results)

TL;DR - I water fasted for 16 days and it did not help my Misophonia or other mental health issues and in fact, towards the end of my fast, I felt much worse. Although, it's a pretty funny story.

It's almost been a year since my last post and a lot has changed. Unfortunately, water fasting didn't work or help my Misophonia, and afterward, it felt like I had hit rock bottom. The whole experience of water fasting was something I wish I'd documented better but I felt so terrible the entire time I hardly did anything except walk around a little bit and watch tv. Most of the time I just laid in bed praying I'd have one of those moments people talk about with fasting where their hunger dissipates and they suddenly feel much better. For me, that moment didn't come and the entire time I was fasting I still had Misophonia and also that frustrating swelling/panic sensation in the back of my head/top of my spine. If you haven't read my about me section yet, in addition to Misophonia I also developed a severe panic/anxiety disorder when I was 22. My goal is to fix them both.

I gave fasting my all I really did. I ended up fasting for 16 days and the reason I stopped was that on days 14 and 15 I started experiencing scary panic attacks again and thought you know what I can't do this anymore. My goal going into the clinic was I was just going to fast until my Misophonia went away, but after week 2 my body made it very clear to me that fasting was not the answer. On the positive side, I walked away with an incredibly deep sense of gratitude for food and much stronger willpower. The funny thing about the clinic where I was fasting is that the kitchen which prepares the food for the people ending their fasts is smack in the middle. So the entire time you're fasting if you leave your room you can smell food and you know it's right there and that the only person getting in the way of you ending your fast and eating is you.

One interesting discovery I had while fasting was that towards the end when I really felt like I was going to lose my mind, I experienced very clear and intense cravings for meat. It was as if my body was shouting to me "eat meat." Of course, the clinic where I was fasting was a strictly vegan clinic. I don't have anything against the vegan diet I just know it's not for me based on my experience trying to be vegan. At the end of the day, everyone should eat what makes them feel the best and use their own judgment (donuts might make you feel great, but you probably shouldn't eat 12 every day). When I broke my fast the clinic nurses gave me apple juice. This is because when you break your fast you're supposed to gradually ramp up to eating regular food again by starting with juice for a day or two, then very soft/steamed foods, and then eventually you're back to normal eating. Logically, ramping up back to regular eating makes sense. If you haven't eaten in two weeks, your system is probably sensitive so yeah okay maybe a quarter pounder with fries and a shake isn't the best first meal.

Unfortunately for me after my first sip of apple juice, I felt a strong knot in my stomach and felt terrible for the next 30 mins. The taste of apple juice by itself though after not eating for 16 days was incredible. I felt like one of the kids in the old Gushers commercials. After letting my stomach settle and I tried the apple juice again and felt terrible. My body was still telling me to eat meat. I felt conflicted since the clinic was vegan and all of the doctors their preach about the benefits of the vegan diet. But for once in my life I felt such a clear signal from my body as to what it wanted and I decided I wasn't going to ignore it.

I hopped in my car and drove to a restaurant and hesitantly ordered a steak and lobster plate. I should probably not have been operating a vehicle in the state I was in but fortunately, the restaurant was not too far away. I felt nervous and self-conscious sitting at this restaurant waiting for my food to come. It felt like I had escaped from prison and I was worried the staff from the clinic was going to come and haul me away from my steak. I also hadn't shaved in several days, was very skinny, and the panic sensation in my head was giving me a hard time.

The food came and I sat there looking at it for a few minutes before diving in. I thought this could be the end as some people in the fasting clinic had shared stories with me of people who had died because they ate too quickly after a fast. I pulled out my phone in case I had to call for help and took my first bite of steak. I waited about ten minutes after that first bite, waiting for my stomach to cramp at any second. Fortunately, it didn't and I actually started feeling a lot better. I finished the entire plate and felt so good after I couldn't believe it. The rest of that day I felt like my old self again, I still had Misophonia, but I just felt so happy and grateful to be alive.

I returned to the clinic and for some reason felt as if I'd gotten lucky and thought I should stick to the vegan diet until I left. So I returned to their ramping up food process and thought it was probably best I didn't mention I'd just eaten meat. After returning to the vegan diet, I felt terrible again and ended up leaving the clinic as soon as possible.

It's not all bad though. Northern California (where the clinic was located) is an incredibly beautiful area and I was able to meet some other people that had already or were in the process of healing all sorts of conditions through fasting. While it didn't work for my mental health issues it certainly was helping other people with their various conditions. It was nice getting a chance to speak with others dealing with severe health issues because for the first time in a long time I didn't feel alone. I felt a strong sense of community while at the clinic and still keep in touch with some of the people I was fasting with. Whatever you're going through if you have other conditions on top of Misophonia, you are not alone! Stay positive because we are going to find a cure for Misophonia!