Emma's Misophonia Story

Emma and I met on Reddit after she posted in the r/misophonia forum about dealing with your parents when they tell you to "get over it," referring to Misophonia triggers. I've posted both a trigger free and original version of her story. Triggers have been blacked out in the trigger free version below. If you don't have Misophonia, or if you don't mind reading about triggers, you can find Emma's original story below the trigger free version. If you'd like to contact Emma via Reddit, you can do so by clicking here. If reading Emma's story made you feel better, and you'd like to share your story, please send me a message! I'd love to hear about your experience with Misophonia. You can message me via the Contact tab.

Trigger Free Version

Where are you from?

Texas

What was your life like when you first began experiencing symptoms of Misophonia?

In 6th grade I remember taking a test in my world geography class and a boy at my table was making noises from and it was so distracting that I asked to take the test in another room.

How have your family and friends responded to you having Misophonia?

I haven’t told anyone except my immediate family, and three of my closest friends. My family has not been the least been supportive, and my friends were very conscious of it when I first explained it to them, but I think they may have forgotten and I don’t want to have to talk to them about it again because I don’t want it to be awkward or something.

What are the best tools and coping strategies you’ve used over the years?

I have some healthy ones, and some not-so-healthy ones. I will generally sit as far as possible from my family during meals and/or wear earbuds. During lunch at school it’s usually already loud enough that I don’t need to use any precautions, except listening to music if I’m feeling particularly uncomfortable. If I’m in an environment where I can’t use headphones like a testing pod, I will mimick the sounds ( ), although it usually isn’t productive. As for unhealthy ones, I will sometimes dig my nails into the palm of my hand. I’m not sure why; I guess it’s because it makes me focus on another form of pain. I’ll also act somewhat passive aggressive, especially my family.

What line of work are you in? Is it a trigger free environment?

I am a nanny for a 5-year-old boy. It is generally trigger-free, except for when I have to with him. Little children are difficult when it comes to Misophonia seeing as they are often very loud , and in my 5-year-old’s case, he tends to do the exact opposite of whatever you tell him to do.

Where do you think Misophonia research should go next? 

I don’t think Misophonia research is particularly extensive, so a greater abundance of research alone would probably be a good move. And focusing on some sort of cure, obviously.

Do you have any other conditions related to (or non-related) to Misophonia? I.e. Depression, Anxiety

Not that I know of.

Do you have advice for anyone currently struggling with Misophonia?

Don’t be afraid to try to explain your condition to people in your life. It may not always prove successful, but you’d be surprised how supportive people can be.

There are a few select sounds out there that can be associated with almost universal hatred. Nails on a chalkboard, a fork scraping on a plate, a crying baby, just to name a few. But not everyone has quite as intense a reaction as those who suffer with a somewhat rare chronic condition known as Misophonia, or “miso,” as the community r/misophonia likes to refer to it as. If you’re on this blog, chances are you already know what misophonia is. But, for those of you who may not, it is a brain-based disorder that causes those who suffer from it to have intense neurological reactions to their “trigger” sounds, which typically vary from patient to patient. The degree to which a person may become irritated or by a trigger sound is also largely versatile, and has been proven to worsen with age. I have been experiencing symptoms of misophonia for 4 or 5 years now, and thought it would be therapeutic for me, and whoever may be reading this, to share my experience.

Upon looking back at the day I first started noticing symptoms of misophonia, I often wondered if there was anything traumatic that could have caused this condition to arise. But as I think about it now, I realize there’s really only one possible explanation. Stress. Before middle school, I had never experienced any major form of stress or anxiety, seeing as I had a stable at-home life and supportive friends to keep me afloat during those early days. But in middle school, for better or worse, my application was accepted for a local magnet school, and I transferred there in the sixth grade. This particular school had a widespread reputation of assigning unreasonable amounts of homework and pushing students to their academic limit, which for some reason appealed to me at the time. However the transition from the relaxed learning environment at my elementary school to the hardcore, competitive environment at this new school was not a smooth one to say the least, and I quickly picked up a few unhealthy coping mechanisms. One of those being misophonia. That isn’t to say I didn’t have the condition before sixth grade, but I had never noticed it as I had never experienced it in this degree before.

I became curious about my symptoms after I reached a new height of stress levels about midway through the first semester in my world geography class. We were taking a test that was worth around 30% of my average for the six weeks and had been tipped off by a few of my classmates that the test was difficult, which was a bit of an understatement. I was trying to concentrate on my test, but I kept getting distracted by one of my tablemates that had a -------- of some kind and was making a ------- noise every few seconds to compensate for the over-abundance of . I was so distracted that I nearly asked the teacher if I could take the test in another room. I didn’t, however, and tried to push past it. I left class that day feeling more physically and emotionally drained than I had ever felt. And on top of everything I bombed the test. Hard. I had never quite experienced anything like the rage I experienced from the -------- sound my classmate had made that day, so I asked around to see if anyone else felt that way. When the people I surveyed gave a unanimous no, I began to do a little bit of research and discovered misophonia.

When I first learned about misophonia, I was almost relieved. After that fateful day in world geography class, I began to accumulate more and more rage for more and more sounds. My trigger sounds as of now include . I was relieved because a.) if it was a real condition I figured there must be a cure and b.) I could finally tell my parents about it now that I could pinpoint what exactly I was experiencing. Unfortunately, neither ended up being true. I showered the internet for research on misophonia and discovered there was very little of it, and that there was no real cure as of yet. And as for my parents’ reaction, they were not nearly as supportive as I thought they would be. I was at dinner one night and after witnessing my brother rather loudly , I called him out on it and asked him to stop. I had done this a few times prior and had never gotten much progress from it, but I figured this could be a good segway for me to bring up my new found discovery. My brother made a face at me, and then told me he didn’t think he was very loudly at all. My dad then intervened accusing me of not using good table manners. I started to reassure him that I was justified in doing this because I had discovered I had a condition called misophonia, describing the disorder in detail to him. My parents exchanged confused glances and then told me I needed to get over it. That wouldn’t be the last time I heard this remark by any means, but the first time it stung the most. I was stunned. I had never received anything but love and support from my parents up until that point, but to this day I can’t seem to convince my parents that “get over it” is probably the worst possible thing to say to anyone experiencing some sort of mental illness, not just phonophobics such as myself.

As I went on into highschool, my symptoms only worsened, sometimes making me so overwhelmed in public settings that I would burst into tears or make myself sick. Over the years I’ve gathered a few different coping mechanisms: some healthy, some, well, not. In terms of healthy coping mechanisms, if I’m in an environment that will allow for it, my only real one is blasting music. It’s probably not doing wonders for my hearing, but it’s really the only socially acceptable action that I can pursue when at school, a restaurant, or occasionally at home (when my parents allow for it). Another less effective one is mimicking the trigger noise. Mimicking is something I do when I’m taking a test because there’s no way to escape the chorus of , other than bathroom breaks. It only lessens the symptoms to a small degree, but it’s something. As for unhealthy, there’s a few I consistently pursue. One I do at home a lot, mainly at the dinner table, is flipping people off under the table. It helps me release my anger, but I just know one day they’re going to see me do it and I’ll be done for. Another is biting my lip, which usually results in my lips swelling a bit and displaying a purplish hue, which I know can’t be healthy. Finally, the worst is digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands almost to the point of drawing blood. I think I do it so I have different pain to focus on so I’m distracted, but I constantly have to cut my nails to keep me from hurting myself.

Although no one has found a real cure, if you’re like me or going through something similar, I have a few pieces of advice for you. Find a community of people with your same condition. I recently joined the subreddit r/misophonia and received tons and tons of support after sharing my story, which felt unbelievably good after feeling so alone in this for so long. Another piece of advice is try to explain your condition to your loved ones. Not everyone is going to react like my parents did. My friends for example actually tried to compensate for my needs after I told them about it. It never hurts to try. If you’re looking for quick results, give exposure therapy a try. However if your symptoms seem to be getting worse from it (it did for me as well unfortunately) stop immediately. Finally, if you need space from people because of your triggers, make space. Your mental health should be one of your main priorities and if you think you need space, you’re probably right. Good luck to anyone else struggling with misophonia, I wish you well.

Original Story (Triggers Included)

Where are you from?

Texas

What was your life like when you first began experiencing symptoms of Misophonia?

In 6th grade I remember taking a test in my world geography class and a boy at my table was making sniffling noises from allergies and it was so distracting that I asked to take the test in another room.

How have your family and friends responded to you having Misophonia?

I haven’t told anyone except my immediate family, and three of my closest friends. My family has not been the least been supportive, and my friends were very conscious of it when I first explained it to them, but I think they may have forgotten and I don’t want to have to talk to them about it again because I don’t want it to be awkward or something.

What are the best tools and coping strategies you’ve used over the years?

I have some healthy ones, and some not-so-healthy ones. I will generally sit as far as possible from my family during meals and/or wear earbuds. During lunch at school it’s usually already loud enough that I don’t need to use any precautions, except listening to music if I’m feeling particularly uncomfortable. If I’m in an environment where I can’t use headphones like a testing pod, I will mimick the sounds (snuffing, sneezing, coughing, chewing gum, etc.), although it usually isn’t productive. As for unhealthy ones, I will sometimes dig my nails into the palm of my hand. I’m not sure why; I guess it’s because it makes me focus on another form of pain. I’ll also act somewhat passive aggressive, especially my family.

What line of work are you in? Is it a trigger free environment?

I am a nanny for a 5-year-old boy. It is generally trigger-free, except for when I have to eat meals with him. Little children are difficult when it comes to Misophonia seeing as they are often very loud eaters, and in my 5-year-old’s case, he tends to do the exact opposite of whatever you tell him to do.

Where do you think Misophonia research should go next?

I don’t think Misophonia research is particularly extensive, so a greater abundance of research alone would probably be a good move. And focusing on some sort of cure, obviously.

Do you have any other conditions related to (or non-related) to Misophonia? I.e. Depression, Anxiety

Not that I know of.

Do you have advice for anyone currently struggling with Misophonia?

Don’t be afraid to try to explain your condition to people in your life. It may not always prove successful, but you’d be surprised how supportive people can be.

There are a few select sounds out there that can be associated with almost universal hatred. Nails on a chalkboard, a fork scraping on a plate, a crying baby, just to name a few. But not everyone has quite as intense a reaction as those who suffer with a somewhat rare chronic condition known as Misophonia, or “miso,” as the community r/misophonia likes to refer to it as. If you’re on this blog, chances are you already know what misophonia is. But, for those of you who may not, it is a brain-based disorder that causes those who suffer from it to have intense neurological reactions to their “trigger” sounds, which typically vary from patient to patient. The degree to which a person may become irritated or by a trigger sound is also largely versatile, and has been proven to worsen with age. I have been experiencing symptoms of misophonia for 4 or 5 years now, and thought it would be therapeutic for me, and whoever may be reading this, to share my experience.

Upon looking back at the day I first started noticing symptoms of misophonia, I often wondered if there was anything traumatic that could have caused this condition to arise. But as I think about it now, I realize there’s really only one possible explanation. Stress. Before middle school, I had never experienced any major form of stress or anxiety, seeing as I had a stable at-home life and supportive friends to keep me afloat during those early days. But in middle school, for better or worse, my application was accepted for a local magnet school, and I transferred there in the sixth grade. This particular school had a widespread reputation of assigning unreasonable amounts of homework and pushing students to their academic limit, which for some reason appealed to me at the time. However the transition from the relaxed learning environment at my elementary school to the hardcore, competitive environment at this new school was not a smooth one to say the least, and I quickly picked up a few unhealthy coping mechanisms. One of those being misophonia. That isn’t to say I didn’t have the condition before sixth grade, but I had never noticed it as I had never experienced it in this degree before.

I became curious about my symptoms after I reached a new height of stress levels about midway through the first semester in my world geography class. We were taking a test that was worth around 30% of my average for the six weeks and had been tipped off by a few of my classmates that the test was difficult, which was a bit of an understatement. I was trying to concentrate on my test, but I kept getting distracted by one of my tablemates that had a cold of some kind and was making a “sniffling noise every few seconds to compensate for the over-abundance of mucus accumulated in his nose. I was so distracted that I nearly asked the teacher if I could take the test in another room. I didn’t, however, and tried to push past it. I left class that day feeling more physically and emotionally drained than I had ever felt. And on top of everything I bombed the test. Hard. I had never quite experienced anything like the rage I experienced from the sniffling sound my classmate had made that day, so I asked around to see if anyone else felt that way. When the people I surveyed gave a unanimous no, I began to do a little bit of research and discovered misophonia.

When I first learned about misophonia, I was almost relieved. After that fateful day in world geography class, I began to accumulate more and more rage for more and more sounds. My trigger sounds as of now include sniffling, chewing, slurping, breathing, coughing, and a few random sounds I hardly ever hear such as two pieces of styrofoam rubbing together. I was relieved because a.) if it was a real condition I figured there must be a cure and b.) I could finally tell my parents about it now that I could pinpoint what exactly I was experiencing. Unfortunately, neither ended up being true. I showered the internet for research on misophonia and discovered there was very little of it, and that there was no real cure as of yet. And as for my parents’ reaction, they were not nearly as supportive as I thought they would be. I was at dinner one night and after witnessing my brother chewing rather loudly with his mouth open, I called him out on it and asked him to stop. I had done this a few times prior and had never gotten much progress from it, but I figured this could be a good segway for me to bring up my new found discovery. My brother made a face at me, and then told me he didn’t think he was chewing very loudly at all. My dad then intervened accusing me of not using good table manners. I started to reassure him that I was justified in doing this because I had discovered I had a condition called misophonia, describing the disorder in detail to him. My parents exchanged confused glances and then told me I needed to get over it. That wouldn’t be the last time I heard this remark by any means, but the first time it stung the most. I was stunned. I had never received anything but love and support from my parents up until that point, but to this day I can’t seem to convince my parents that “get over it” is probably the worst possible thing to say to anyone experiencing some sort of mental illness, not just phonophobics such as myself.

As I went on into highschool, my symptoms only worsened, sometimes making me so overwhelmed in public settings that I would burst into tears or make myself sick. Over the years I’ve gathered a few different coping mechanisms: some healthy, some, well, not. In terms of healthy coping mechanisms, if I’m in an environment that will allow for it, my only real one is blasting music. It’s probably not doing wonders for my hearing, but it’s really the only socially acceptable action that I can pursue when at school, a restaurant, or occasionally at home (when my parents allow for it). Another less effective one is mimicking the trigger noise. Mimicking is something I do when I’m taking a test because there’s no way to escape the chorus of sniffing and coughing, other than bathroom breaks. It only lessens the symptoms to a small degree, but it’s something. As for unhealthy, there’s a few I consistently pursue. One I do at home a lot, mainly at the dinner table, is flipping people off under the table. It helps me release my anger, but I just know one day they’re going to see me do it and I’ll be done for. Another is biting my lip, which usually results in my lips swelling a bit and displaying a purplish hue, which I know can’t be healthy. Finally, the worst is digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands almost to the point of drawing blood. I think I do it so I have different pain to focus on so I’m distracted, but I constantly have to cut my nails to keep me from hurting myself.

Although no one has found a real cure, if you’re like me or going through something similar, I have a few pieces of advice for you. Find a community of people with your same condition. I recently joined the subreddit r/misophonia and received tons and tons of support after sharing my story, which felt unbelievably good after feeling so alone in this for so long. Another piece of advice is try to explain your condition to your loved ones. Not everyone is going to react like my parents did. My friends for example actually tried to compensate for my needs after I told them about it. It never hurts to try. If you’re looking for quick results, give exposure therapy a try. However if your symptoms seem to be getting worse from it (it did for me as well unfortunately) stop immediately. Finally, if you need space from people because of your triggers, make space. Your mental health should be one of your main priorities and if you think you need space, you’re probably right. Good luck to anyone else struggling with misophonia, I wish you well.